Praise Effort, Not Personality

"One of the main ways we can change children's views about themselves and their world is by how we comment on their accomplishments or failures," writes Ellen Galinsky, in Mind in the Making: The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs, Galinksy continues...

"Rather than praising their personalities or intelligence ('You are so smart' or 'artistic' or 'athletic'), criticizing them ('You are so stupid' or 'uncoordinated'), or attributing their accomplishments to luck, we can praise their efforts or strategies.  I watched this process at work in the Bing Nursery School at Stanford University. Children were given a very difficult puzzle to work on, and most agonized over it.  The teachers' comments continued to reinforce their problem-solving strategies:  'Look, you turned that piece around and around to see where it would fit' or 'You looked for a place where that was the same color as the piece you are holding.'  The children struggled, but they didn't walk away;  they didn't give up.  They were taking on challenges!"
 

From: http://www.childcareexchange.com/