We have a new friend today
Izabella is a year and a half and will be here two days per week.
A Few Misc Reminders
We will be closed on Monday Jan 17th in observance of MLK Day
January Scholastic book orders are due by Tuesday Jan 18th.
It's time for wipes ... if you have not brought them please do so this week.
Teaching Kids to Put on Coats
With the weather so cold we have been wearing sweatshirts and coats outside. Putting on a jacket can be a challenge for young kids but it really does not need to be. The video below will show you a fun way to help them learn ...
Teaching-Kids-to-Put-on-Coats
Teaching-Kids-to-Put-on-Coats
Happy Holidays
Brandy and I would like to wish you all the best this holiday season and throughout the New Year.
Whatever your faith or belief, we can trust in that being surrounded by friends and family and the love and wonder in our children's eyes is the "reason for the season".
Be well, be safe, be gentle with each other, hold your families and friends close, tell your children you love them always, and whenever you can, take a moment to smile at a stranger on the street ~ It's a gift that costs nothing, but means so much...
We will be closed Thursday and Friday this week, and ALL next week: December 27-31.
Happy Holidays to You and Yours!
Paper Bags Needed Please
We are going to be making Gingerbread "people" next week and will need brown grocery bags.
Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Santa is continuing his ride through Rohnert Park this week as he visits four more neighborhoods starting with “M” section tonight. The Rohnert Park Public Safety Officers Association’s Santa float will be traveling through town with the first stop at 6 p.m. each evening.
They will be collecting toys and monetary donations for the toy drive. Giving gifts TO Santa for other children is a wonderful way to nurture their sense of compassion and goodwill towards others. A generous spirit is a quality that I would love to see in more humans ... let's start with our little ones :)
Don’t forget your camera. Unlike in years past, photos will not be placed online, so bring your camera and take some photos with Santa on his “sleigh.”
For a complete list of streets and dates http://www.rohnertparkchamber.org/home/rohnertparkchamber2/Santa%20Float%20location%20of%20stops%202010%2011-8-10.pdf
Kind and Firm Parenting
by Jane Nelsen, Ed.D.
A foundation of positive discipline is to be kind and firm at the same time. Many parents know how to be kind � until they get upset. Then they know how to be firm without being kind. Some parents vacillate between the two � being kind until they can't stand their kids (who develop an entitlement attitude), and then being firm until they can't stand themselves (feeling like tyrants).
Putting kind and firm together is the challenge. One of my favorite examples of kind and firm at the same time is, "I love you, and the answer is no."
Another example is to validate a child's feelings and then allow her to recover from those feelings. "I can see you are very disappointed that you didn't get a better grade." Then comes the tough part � no rescuing and no lectures. Simply allow her to discover that she can get over her disappointment and figure out what might increase her chances of getting what she wants in the future.
Kind and Firm Parenting Tips
The mother bird knows instinctively when it is time to push her baby bird from the nest so it will learn to fly. If we didn't know better we might think this is not very nice of the mother bird. If the baby bird could talk, it might be saying, "No. I don't want to leave the nest. Don't be so mean. That's not fair." However, we know the baby bird would not learn to fly if the mother bird did not provide that important push.
Kind is not always nice. It would be very unkind to allow her baby to be handicapped for life by pampering � an unkindness practiced by many parents today.
We all know the mistakes made in the name of firmness without kindness. In a word, it is punishment. However, many do not know the mistakes made in the name of kindness such as:
Why Kindness Is Not Always Kind
You may be surprised to see, "making sure children never suffer," as a mistake in the name of kindness. The following story of the little boy and the butterfly may help you understand how rescuing children from all suffering creates weakness.
A little boy felt sorry for a butterfly struggling to emerge from its chrysalis. He decided to help so he could save the butterfly from the struggle. So he peeled the chrysalis open for the butterfly. The little boy was so excited to watch the butterfly spread its wings and fly off into the sky. Then he was horrified as he watched the butterfly drift to the ground and die because it did not have the muscle strength to keep flying.
Like the little boy, parents too often want to protect their children from struggle in the name of love. They don't realize that their children need to struggle, to deal with disappointment and to solve their own problems so they can develop their emotional muscles and the necessary skills for the even bigger struggles they will encounter throughout their lives.
It is important that parents do not make children suffer, but sometimes it is most helpful to "allow" them to suffer. For example, suppose a child "suffers" because she can't have the toy she wants. Allowing her to suffer through this experience can help her develop her resiliency muscles. She learns that she can survive the ups and downs of life � leading to a sense of capability and competency.
Of course it isn't helpful when parents engage in "piggy backing" � adding lectures, blame and shame to what the child is experiencing. "Stop crying and acting like a spoiled brat. You can't always have what you want. Do you think I'm made of money? And besides, all I got in my Christmas stocking was nuts and an orange."
Instead, parents can offer loving support. "I can see this is very upsetting to you. It can be very disappointing when we don't get what we want." Period. I say, "period," because some parents even overdo validating feelings � going on and on in the hopes that validating feelings will take away the suffering.
Have faith in your children that they can learn and grow from suffering � especially in a supportive environment. Understand that, in the short term, kind is not always nice. True kindness and firmness together provides an environment where children can develop the "wings" they need to soar through life.
A foundation of positive discipline is to be kind and firm at the same time. Many parents know how to be kind � until they get upset. Then they know how to be firm without being kind. Some parents vacillate between the two � being kind until they can't stand their kids (who develop an entitlement attitude), and then being firm until they can't stand themselves (feeling like tyrants). Putting kind and firm together is the challenge. One of my favorite examples of kind and firm at the same time is, "I love you, and the answer is no."
Another example is to validate a child's feelings and then allow her to recover from those feelings. "I can see you are very disappointed that you didn't get a better grade." Then comes the tough part � no rescuing and no lectures. Simply allow her to discover that she can get over her disappointment and figure out what might increase her chances of getting what she wants in the future.
Kind and Firm Parenting Tips
The mother bird knows instinctively when it is time to push her baby bird from the nest so it will learn to fly. If we didn't know better we might think this is not very nice of the mother bird. If the baby bird could talk, it might be saying, "No. I don't want to leave the nest. Don't be so mean. That's not fair." However, we know the baby bird would not learn to fly if the mother bird did not provide that important push.
Kind is not always nice. It would be very unkind to allow her baby to be handicapped for life by pampering � an unkindness practiced by many parents today.
We all know the mistakes made in the name of firmness without kindness. In a word, it is punishment. However, many do not know the mistakes made in the name of kindness such as:
- Pleasing
- Rescuing
- Over-protecting
- Pampering � providing all "wants"
- Micromanaging in the name of love
- Giving too many choices
- Making sure children never suffer
Why Kindness Is Not Always Kind
You may be surprised to see, "making sure children never suffer," as a mistake in the name of kindness. The following story of the little boy and the butterfly may help you understand how rescuing children from all suffering creates weakness.
A little boy felt sorry for a butterfly struggling to emerge from its chrysalis. He decided to help so he could save the butterfly from the struggle. So he peeled the chrysalis open for the butterfly. The little boy was so excited to watch the butterfly spread its wings and fly off into the sky. Then he was horrified as he watched the butterfly drift to the ground and die because it did not have the muscle strength to keep flying.
Like the little boy, parents too often want to protect their children from struggle in the name of love. They don't realize that their children need to struggle, to deal with disappointment and to solve their own problems so they can develop their emotional muscles and the necessary skills for the even bigger struggles they will encounter throughout their lives.
It is important that parents do not make children suffer, but sometimes it is most helpful to "allow" them to suffer. For example, suppose a child "suffers" because she can't have the toy she wants. Allowing her to suffer through this experience can help her develop her resiliency muscles. She learns that she can survive the ups and downs of life � leading to a sense of capability and competency.
Of course it isn't helpful when parents engage in "piggy backing" � adding lectures, blame and shame to what the child is experiencing. "Stop crying and acting like a spoiled brat. You can't always have what you want. Do you think I'm made of money? And besides, all I got in my Christmas stocking was nuts and an orange."
Instead, parents can offer loving support. "I can see this is very upsetting to you. It can be very disappointing when we don't get what we want." Period. I say, "period," because some parents even overdo validating feelings � going on and on in the hopes that validating feelings will take away the suffering.
Have faith in your children that they can learn and grow from suffering � especially in a supportive environment. Understand that, in the short term, kind is not always nice. True kindness and firmness together provides an environment where children can develop the "wings" they need to soar through life.
Stone Soup
Please bring in your contribution ahead of time if your child is not scheduled to be in care on Tuesday.
Looking ahead ....I am sure that many families will be traveling for the Holidays. Brandy and I would like to be able to plan our own schedules and ask that you let us know any days that your child will be absent.
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